


Jazz's Idea: Making Pizza

by Cheshire_Hearts



Series: Decepticon and Autobot Ideas [2]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Crack, Cranky Medics, Gen, Jazz isn't as cool as he thinks he is, M/M, Optimus thought he had warriors not a bunch of kids, Prowl could use a hug, Ratchet is so done with everyone, Shenanigans, cooking pizza attempt, terrible ideas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-31
Updated: 2017-01-31
Packaged: 2018-09-21 02:26:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9527708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cheshire_Hearts/pseuds/Cheshire_Hearts
Summary: Jazz has the wonderful idea to make pizza and Optimus cannot believe it turned out this disastrous.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is pure crack...  
> This is in the same series as Starscream's Idea, but you don't have to read the other to get this one.

Optimus Prime could only stare in mild horror at what once had been their base’s common room. He made sure to keep the look off his face in case one of the ‘bots noticed. It wouldn’t do for the four Autobots standing amongst the mess to see how badly they’d screwed up. Prime felt they already knew and didn’t need any more guilt; especially Bumblebee.

With a sigh, Optimus carefully stepped into the room, already having to avoid spilt and bubbling energon on the floor. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe shifted and looked anywhere but at their Prime and the other Autobots in the room. Jazz shifted his weight slightly, but it was hard to tell what he was feeling because of his dark visor. Bumblebee actually flinched and offered a weak smile to their leader. Prowl groaned but didn’t move from his spot on the floor in the middle of the mess.

“How did this happen?” Optimus asked as he moved slowly toward Prowl.

“Well,” Bumblebee started only for Jazz to clear his vocalizer.

“It was my fault, Prime.” Optimus looked over at his Second in Command and raised an optical ridge in question. “Well, I wanted to see about making different things with energon like we used to on Cybertron. I decided to make a human dish; it didn’t turn out so well.”

“No, I guess it didn’t.” The red and blue transformer said with amusement and continued to make his way carefully to Prowl. “How about you tell me the whole story, Jazz.”

“Sure thing, boss ‘bot,” Jazz said and his visor lightened a bit. “It all started this morning…”

***

_Jazz walked into the common room to find Bumblebee sitting in front of the new TV their human friends had gotten for them. The Spec. Ops officer was slightly amused to find the show Bee was watching was one of the many cooking shows. The young ‘bot seemed completely absorbed with it too. He moved closer to the sofa and found both Sunny and Sides curled up together watching the show just as absorbed with it as Bee was._

_“Whatch y’all up to?” He asked and casually draped himself over the back of the sofa above the little yellow ‘bot._

_“Watching a food show. It’s about this guy, Anthony Bourdain, who travels everywhere and eats food.” Bumblebee replied without taking his optics off the TV screen._

_“Really? That’s what’s got you three so distracted?”_

_“Yup,” Sideswipe responded. “The humans have all this really crazy food. Makes me kinda miss all the treats we used to have on Cybertron before the war.”_

_Jazz raised an optical ridge and then smirked. “Well, I’m sure we could convince Optimus to let us make something using energon. What looks the best?”_

_All three looked up at Jazz and grinned. “Pizza,” they all responded._

_“Then let’s get too it.” Jazz said and pushed off the couch. “I’m gonna go find Prime to get permission, you guys get everythin’ we’ll need.”_

***

“And that’s how it started.” The other three nodded in agreement to Jazz’s story.

Optimus could only sigh, he remembered Jazz comming him to ask permission to do something in the common room with a few other Autobots that had something to do with energon, but he’d been preoccupied. He hadn’t really listened to what his SIC had said over the comm. link, but figured not much would’ve changed the outcome. He probably would’ve given Jazz permission to do whatever he wanted so long as it was safe.

“How did Prowl get involved?” He asked and finally knelt next to his Third. Prowl onlined his optics and looked dazedly at his leader. “How are you feeling Prowl?” Prowl just groaned and offlined his optics again.

“Think I might need Ratchet,” he groaned in response.

“Alright,” Optimus responded and sent a quick message over their comm. link asking the medic to hurry to the common room. “Care to finish the story, Jazz?”

“Uh, sure thing. So, after I commed you and got permission…”

***

_“So, how’s this going to work exactly?” Bee asked and leaned in to look over Sideswipes shoulder._

_“Not entirely sure, but it can’t be harder than making energon sweets, it’s probably easier.” Jazz replied and looked over at the human instructions on how to make pizza. Jazz doubted it could be too hard. Besides, all the directions looked much simpler than some of the energon sweets they used to have in Iacon._

_“And have you ever made any of those sweets?” Sunstreaker asked curiously as he found all the toppings they wanted from one of the drawers._

_“Um, no. But really, it can’t be that difficult. Prowl used to make them all the time and I used to watch.”_

_“You’re so lying Jazz.” Sides said with a grin._

_“Nope. Not even a little.”_

_“Maybe we should ask Prowl to help?” Bee asked from the other side of the counter._

_“He wouldn’t help us,” Sunstreaker said as he put everything down next to Jazz._

_“If you say so, but if anything weird starts happening, I’m going to comm. him.”_

_“Do whatever you like, Bee, but we don’t need his help.” Sideswipe grinned at him and bumped their shoulders together._

_Jazz gave everyone instructions on what they should do and they all got to work. Sure they made a bit of a mess, but that was expected when four ‘bots got together to make a dish no matter is it was a new one or one they all knew. Small splashes of energon dotted the counter top as well as various minerals in different forms. Jazz was grinning under his visor at the small amount of chaos around them. He was silently grateful no one had walked into the common room yet._

_As if on cue, the main door slid open and Prowl walked in. He frowned at what he saw and was about to protest, but Sunstreaker beat him to it._

_“Bumblebee! I thought we agreed we didn’t need his help!”_

_“Don’t look at me,” Bee said and gave the other yellow Autobot a look. “I haven’t commed anyone.”_

_“This is the common room.” Began Prowl. “Anyone can come and go as they like.”_

_“Hey there Prowler,” Jazz grinned at his lover and left the counter top to intercept the other ’bot._

_“Don’t try to distract me, Jazz.”_

_Jazz shrugged. “It was worth a shot, but you don’t have to worry, we got permission from Prime to make something out of energon.” Prowl gave them all looks, waiting for someone to tell him more._

_“We’re making the equivalent of pizza,” Bumblebee spoke up as he peaked around the red ‘bot in front of him._

_“You can’t be-” Prowl was cut off by an ominous noise emanating from the counter. Everyone turned to look, those closest stepping away from the rattling oven. Prowl moved closer as the others all stepped back. With a loud bang, the oven exploded, knocking Prowl off his feet. Jazz grabbed Bee and dove behind the sofa while Sunny and Sides dove under the table._

***

“And that’s pretty much how it happened, Prime.” Jazz said with a slight grimace.

“So, Prowl got hit by the blast and no one else is hurt?” The others all nodded and quietly said they were fine.

The door slid open again and Ratchet came stomping in, grumbling and cursing the entire way to Prowl. He gave the room one look and then fixed everyone in the room, Optimus included, a disappointed and furious look before moving over to Prowl. Jazz had to admit Ratchet was skilled at avoiding the hot energon spilt on the floor while not paying it any attention.

Prowl groaned as Ratchet poked and prodded him. “Oh stop your moaning you’re perfectly fine, only slightly burnt armor. The blast did more damage than the energon on your frame and even that is superficial. Jazz,” the ‘bot in question stood up straighter and moved closer to the medic and Prowl. “Take Prowl to the wash racks to remove any leftover energon and then let him rest in a berth. He’ll be fine in a cycle or two.”

“Got it, Ratch.” Jazz carefully picked up his lover who muttered angrily at him and moved quickly out of the room.

“And you three,” Ratchet turned to the other three ‘bots involved in the incident, all of them cringed at the medic’s tone. “You had better get this all cleaned up before the floor starts to melt!”

All three snapped to attention with a ‘yes sir’ and quickly moved to do as they were told. Optimus gave a quiet sigh before jerking straight up when Ratchet turned angry blue optics on him. Prime gave his partner a weak smile and slowly shrugged his shoulders.

“I can’t believe you let them get away with this.” Ratchet muttered and walked out of the common room.


End file.
